From Shiri Cohen's article "Eye of the Beholder" (see bottom of page for article details) which examined empathic accuracy and perceived empathic effort and found that the perception of a partner's empathic effort, not the accuracy of that effort, informs the degree to which we derive (or not) satisfaction from the empathic processes in a relationship.
From this article comes a host (#9 actuall) ost of pop-psych articles and chances to say 'we always knew' or 'isn't that messed up' or in some cases, 'knowing this can provide a path to improving a relationship"
While the gathering of the articles ultimately proved less interesting then anticipated, since the effort was made, I share it with you as always randomly and variously...
Article #1
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Title:New research reveals women are happier when their partner is upset
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you ever thought that you caught a look of glee in your girlfriend’s eyes when you were upset or miserable,
chances are you probably did. No, no, she’s not a heartless bitch, she’s just programmed to be happy when
you’re miserable – it’s science! Well…according to new research from Harvard Medical School anyway. [. . .] So basically we like to laugh at your pain and if you get thick with us we can claim that it’s not our fault, it’s just human nature. Awesome.
Source:http://www.joe.ie/news-politics/world-affairs/new-research-reveals-women-are-happier-when-their-partner-is-upset-0021915-1
Article #2
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Title:Why We Love It When Guys Are Bummed Out
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There are so many factors that go into making a relationship work, but researchers from Harvard Medical School have just tracked down another one—and it’s a little random. According to their study, men like to know when girlfriend or wife is happy, and women like to know when their boyfriend or husband is upset. [...]Researchers discovered that men feel the most satisfied with their relationship when they can correctly guess that their girlfriend or wife is happy. Women, on the other hand, feel the most satisfied with their relationship when they correctly guess that their man is upset. A little twist: When men understand that their partner is upset or angry, the women are happier, but the men are not. Scientists guessed that, for women, seeing that their guy is upset shows that he’s invested in the relationship, even when the situation is rough. But for men…they feel like they’re screwing up since you’re unhappy. So what does this mean? Basically, our men really want us to be happy. And, um, we kind of dig it when they’re upset.
Source:http://www.cosmopolitan.com/celebrity/news/relationship-satisfaction-030612?src=rss
Article #3
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Title:Trying to be empathetic key for couples
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"A man likes to know when his wife or girlfriend is happy, but a woman wants the man in her life to know when she is upset, U.S. researchers found. [. . .] Believing your partner is trying to be empathetic is more important to the relationship than actual empathy, Cohen said."
Source: http://www.upi.com/Health_News/2012/03/06/Trying-to-be-empathetic-key-for-couples/UPI-79561331016883/
Article #4
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Title: Women Want Men Miserable
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Women like men to feel their pain. There goes science again, confirming stereotypes about relationships.
Basically, research has confirmed what makes women happy...is when their boyfriends or husbands feel, live,
breathe their misery. There is nothing that makes us happier than you knowing how unhappy we are. Here's the scientific explanation for why that is: "It could be that for women, seeing that their male partner is upset reflects some degree of the man's investment and emotional engagement in the relationship, even during difficult times," said researcher Shiri Cohen. Our theory: Just plain selfish cruelty. If we're unhappy, you best be unhappy, too. Men, on the other hand, just want their partners to be happy."
Source: http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/03/today-in-research-changing-your-dna-women-want-men-miserable/254077/
Article #5
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Title: Women want men to understand their pain
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Men like to know when their wife or girlfriend is happy but women really want their partner to know when they are upset or angry, a new study has suggested. [. . .] The authors suggest that being empathetic to a partner's negative emotions may feel threatening to the relationship for men but not for women. The findings also show that the more men and women try to be empathetic to their partner's feelings, the happier they are. The study has been published online in the Journal of Family Psychology.
Source: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man-woman/Women-want-men-to-understand-their-pain/articleshow/12173477.cms
Article #6
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Title: Women gain happiness from seeing their partner upset - because it 'shows their relationship is strong'
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Women...feel reassured when they see their man unhappy. They believe that if the man allows them to see that he is upset – rather than withdraw – it shows he is committed to the relationship. Women also prefer their male partner to know when she is upset than when she is happy as a way of showing their empathy. [. . .] Lead researcher Shiri Cohen of Harvard Medical School explained why women's brains showed a positive reaction to seeing their husband or partner upset."
Source:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2111203/Seeing-man-upset-makes-women-happy--shows-
relationship-strong.html
Article #7
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Title:Research finds women feel happy when their husband or partner is upset
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"The study concluded: “Overall, the findings from this study suggest that men may be more satisfied in their
relationships when they can accurately read their partners’ positive emotions, while women’s relationship
satisfaction may uniquely benefit when they can accurately read their partners’ negative emotions
“Women’s satisfaction was more strongly related to the perception that their partners were trying to understand their negative emotions than to men’s actual accuracy in reading those emotions.”
"Women can feel happy when they see their husband or partner is upset, new research has suggested.
Source:http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationships/9126265/Research-finds-women-feel-happy-when-their-husband-or-partner-is-upset.html
Article #8
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Title: Women prize men who try to understand their emotions
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Women can be difficult to understand, some men say, but new empathy research indicates that to keep a woman happy, their partners just need to try to understand their emotions, not necessarily succeed at it.
Men, on the other hand, just want to know whether their significant other is happy. If they notice that their partner is unhappy, and is possibly about to initiate a split, the thought decreases their relationship happiness. Women's happiness, however, is not dampened by a partner's dissatisfied emotions.
Source:http://www.foxnews.com/health/2012/03/06/women-prize-men-who-try-to-understand-their-emotions/
Article #9
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Upset Men And The Happy Women Who Love Them
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Men like it when women let them know when they're happy. Women like it when men share their anger and frustration. [...] It's not so hard to understand why men get satisfaction out of seeing their wife or girlfriend happy. Wouldn't anyone? But the notion that women like seeing their mate angry, sad or frustrated is more of a puzzle. What's up with us, women? [...] "The women tend to want to engage around conflict," she told Shots. "They're deriving more satisfaction when they see that their partner is upset." [...] Men feel exactly the opposite about those moments of conflict [...] "They do derive satisfaction when their girlfriends or wives are happy." [...] So I guess we women have to stop and take notice at those moments of male happiness. And men could profit by starting a sentence with the phrase "I feel bad about ...."
Source:http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2012/03/06/148049574/upset-men-and-the-happy-women-who-love-them
Article #10 - The Original Source Material Article
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eye of the Beholder: The Individual and Dyadic Contributions of Empathic
Accuracy and Perceived Empathic Effort to Relationship Satisfaction
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Abstract: This study examined links between two distinct facets of empathy—empathic accuracy and perceived
empathic effort—and one’s own and one’s partner’s relationship satisfaction. Using a video recall
procedure, participants (n 156 couples in committed relationships) reported on their own emotions and
their perceptions of partners’ emotions and partners’ empathic intentions during moments of high affect
in laboratory-based discussions of upsetting events. Partners’ data were correlated as a measure of how
accurately they were able to read what the other was feeling and to what degree they felt the other was
trying to be empathic at those moments. The perception of empathic effort by one’s partner was more
strongly linked with both men’s and women’s relationship satisfaction than empathic accuracy. Men’s
relationship satisfaction was related to the ability to read their partners’ positive emotions accurately,
whereas women’s relationship satisfaction was related to their partners’ ability to read women’s negative
emotions accurately. Women’s ability to read their husbands’ negative emotions was positively linked to
both men’s and women’s relationship satisfaction. Findings suggest that the perception of a partner’s
empathic effort—as distinct from empathic accuracy—is uniquely informative in understanding how
partners may derive relationship satisfaction from empathic processes. When working with couples in
treatment, heightening partners’ perceptions of each other’s empathic effort, and helping partners learn
to demonstrate effort, may represent particularly powerful opportunities for improving satisfaction in
relationship
published and available as a pdf at the Journal of Family Psychology's website:
http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/fam-ofp-cohen.pdf
No comments:
Post a Comment